"Echad" or "Why Sex Definitely isn't just Physical"

If you are atheist, agnostic, or from another religion other than Christianity- you might want to check out my post that precedes this one which argues my point with only logic.  I'm about to get my faith on here.  So, fair warning.  I encourage you to read this post regardless of your faith (or lack their of), though, simply because you'll learn a thing or two about the Christian doctrine of keeping your pants on until you're married that you don't learn from watching movies like Emma Stone's Easy A. I wonder if Amanda Bynes' major melt down isn't partially due to God smiting her for her portrayal of a horribly stereotypical, self righteous, virgin, Christian school girl in that film.... I digress.

In the beginning, God created the earth.

Told you I was getting my faith on for this one.

So, God created the earth and all the animals and then He made a man.  You can read all about it here, in Genesis chapters 1 and 2.

Now, before I lose all the atheists here, some Christians believe that this is not a literal, linear history of the creation of earth and all it contains.  Some believe it is metaphorical.  For example, many do not see a conflict between evolution and the seven days of creation.  2 Peter 3:8 says, "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." I say this because even if you do not look at Genesis as a literal history, the lessons it teaches are paramount.  This being simple things like:

1) God created the earth and all it contains.

2) We as humanity messed up His perfect creation by engaging in sin and bringing about the fall of man/losing our immortality on this earth (eating the "apple"), and therefore requiring a Savior to rectify our relationship with God so that we may regain our immortality in heaven.

3) The creation of the marriage relationship.

There are other points that are important surely but I'm really interested in number 3 here.  So anyways, the point is- I am going to talk about Adam and Eve.  Please think of them as either literally Adam and Eve or as in a metaphor for God's first created people- what ever you choose.  It doesn't change the meaning of the story.  I'm just saying, go with me on this.

So, God made Adam, and Adam was excited to name all the animals and hang out with them, but he was lonely.  Lions and aardvarks and beluga whales and etc, all make rad friends but they don't come anywhere near approaching a "soul mate" type relationship.

Genesis 2:18 "The Lord God said, it is not good for man to be alone."

It does not say:
It is not good for man to be childless!
And so, God made a woman so that man could procreate.

It does not say:
It is not good for man to be horny!
And so, God made a women so that man could satisfy his desires.

It says:
It is not good for man to be alone.
And so, God made a women so that man would not be alone.

We were made to complete each other.

God did not make a dozen women and parade them in front of Adam and give Adam a rose he could bestow upon the one he deemed most fit to satisfy his needs and desires like a Biblical Bachelor TV show. NO.  God created Eve as a perfect fit FOR ADAM.  Adam didn't date around or have his parents pick out a wife for him.  He was just chilling in the garden and BAM!  the woman God intended for him appeared.

You know the bit about God taking a rib out of the side of Adam and forming Eve from it and etc so let me skip ahead to the verse that this entire post is based on.

Genesis 2:24  "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

Now, from the translation of the Hebrew that is here you could try to argue that this verse is describing the solely physical phenomena of copulation.  However, the Hebrew word that is translated into "one flesh" is "echad".  The Hebrew script of this word can be see in red on the right margin of the background on this blog (not visible on mobile devices).  "Echad" means "unified one".  A term that implies a multiple of things coming together to form one entity.  The word "yachid" is used as the numerical one. 

Ok, ok so physically one? Right?  No.

"Echad" is also the word used to describe the spiritual oneness of the Trinity.  

Deuteronomy 6:4 "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one."

Echad.

One.

Jesus even echoed this verse, which is important to note.  Jesus only preached for three years before being crucified.  He didn't waste time repeating previously established scripture that wasn't vital.

Mark 12:28, 29 

One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked Him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?" 

"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength."

Surely, there is nothing "physical" about the spiritual union of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in the Trinity.  Is there?

Oh, and guess what other scripture Jesus found important enough to repeat. 

Matthew 19:4-9

"Haven't you read," he replied, "that in the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female', and for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one.  Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man could give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"

Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard.  But it was not this way in the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

And it gets better!  After hearing these rigid and unyielding words, the disciples balked (as our "sexually liberated" society does).  Their comeback was to say it was better to never marry than to be stuck with one person forever!

Matthew 19:10

The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."

And it gets BETTER!  Jesus' response was basically to say that either you marry one person and unite with them entirely (spiritually, mentally, physically) with them ONLY for your WHOLE LIFE, or you live your life as though you don't have genitals.

Matthew 19:11-12

Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs (Those who are castrated. No sexy-time parts.)  who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others- and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.  The one who can accept this should accept it."

Could He be clearer?

Marriage or abstinence.  Pick one.

Thank you, Jesus.

Sex is meant to facilitate a spiritual oneness so complete it is to be reserved for that one person with whom you partake of the covenant of marriage and you are not to separate in this lifetime unless your spouse is sexually immoral, commits adultery. 

*Note: else where in the Bible other types of difficult marriage situations are discussed like not being married to a Christian etc- this isn't the ONLY "ok" reason to end a marriage.

Are you beginning to see the huge significance sex inherently has according to the Lord God?   I am not saying that every marriage that suffers a spouse's infidelity should end in divorce.  Miraculously, with the love of Christ, marriages can be healed from infidelity.  However, it shows how deep the significance of sex is, that Jesus (who campaigns for the forgiveness of all sins) should sanction it as the only truly acceptable reason for divorce.  Just, food for thought. 

So, um what exactly happens spiritually when you have sex with people who aren't the person God intends for you, your "soulmate" if you will, what happens spiritually?

The answer is, I'm not entirely sure.  I haven't had the pleasure. (Haha, get it? Pleasure? Sorry, at least one corny virgin joke per blog.)

It would be nice to say, nothing.  Nothing happens to your soul, if you make love to people who aren't your husband or wife.  They aren't your soul mate so the sex really is just physical.  I'ld like to say that, but thats not true.

So, I love Paul, the apostle Paul.  Wrote quite a few books of the New Testament, a real stand up guy.  Paul was first known by the name "Saul" and actually worked for the pharisees persecuting and executing Christians in the early church- super early church; Jesus's disciples were still living.  Then Jesus actually came down from heaven to be like "Hey you, jerk face, stop killing my people and follow me", except way more epically- striking him blind and all. Its a pretty cool experience to read about in Acts 9:1-19.  Anyways, so even though Paul wasn't a disciple, he did have a face-to-face experience with Christ and was clearly super blessed with the Holy Spirit and wrote some of the most moving and convicting scripture in the Bible.  Here is one of my favorite passages from Corinthians.  Corinthians is the letter Paul wrote to the church at Corinth in Greece. The congregation of Corinth had a lot of issues with sexual sin due to the members of the church engaging in sexual lifestyles common in Greek culture. So Paul writes to them:

1 Corinthians 6: 15-20

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? (We as Christians make up the "body" of Christ) Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute is one body with her? For "the two," God says, "shall become one flesh" (he is quoting the "echad" verse here! Remember it means complete oneness including spiritual oneness!) But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. (Christians are spiritually one with God through the Holy Spirit).  Flee sexual immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.  Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God's.

Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you; when you sin against your body you are sinning against the temple of the Holy Spirit.  As with any sin, there are spiritual consequences; but this scripture clearly states that there are special consequences for sexual sin.  

Think about the example Paul uses here. The example is sexual sin with a prostitute.  So with a prostitute, it truly is just physical...right?  You pay money to have someone get you off and give you sexual pleasure- there is no emotionally intimacy right?  So even in a situation when there is NO emotional intimacy, only physical- you are still damaging your soul.  So what is happening to your soul when you are entangling it with someone you are actually living in sin with and sharing all types of intimacy with?  Maybe even having kids?  

One more point. 

Throughout the Bible, from Isaiah to Revelation, marriage is used as a metaphor for Christ and the Church.  Christ is the "bridegroom" and the Church is his "bride".   Obviously there is NOTHING physical/sexual about our relationship to Christ, so this metaphor is used to describe the perfect spiritual oneness and the covenant of unending love that we have with Christ (which will be revealed in its fullness once Christ comes again or we die whichever comes first).  Lets look at my favorite passage in the New Testament about this metaphor (My favorite in the Old Testament is all of the book Hosea).  In his letter to the church at Ephesus, Paul reminds them as well of Genesis 2:24 and "echad".

Ephesians 5:25-33

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way husbands aught to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church- for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh" (echad).  This is a profound mystery- but I am talking about Christ and the church. 

Bottom line.

Sex is spiritual. Not just "should be".

It is.

Either you unite as God intended or you join and tear apart and damage your soul in the process.

End of story.

Unyielding words, I know.

For making it to the end of this blog and because I don't want you to hate me here is a picture of cute cats dressed as bride and groom.  Huzzah for the internet.

Just Physical

I'm going to start off as light as possible.  I would like to address the often used statement "It's just phyiscal".  This argument is used to justify everything from premarital sex to affairs.  It shouldn't matter; it wasn't love; it was just physical.  The act of sex is physical.  It's just a means to an end; physical pleasure.  A friend once said to me "Sex is just something people do", another friend actually equated it to playing a game with someone "like playing tag" another friend told me (I paraphrase slightly) "The sole purpose of sex, truly, is procreation. Thanks to evolution it feels good, so we want to do it.  Any meaning it has is just arbitrarily assigned to it by people on an individual basis."

I'm about to argue this point with nothing but logic.  I'm not even going to pull on morality or my Christian faith (saving the big guns for later).  But right now, just logic.

First, a definition of the word physical from Google:

Physical 

adjective

1. 1.

   of or relating to the body as opposed to the mind.

   
   
2. 2.

   of or relating to things perceived through the senses as opposed to the mind; tangible or concrete.

   
   

To play the devil's advocate I will say, yes, sex is a purely physical act (no pun intended...get it? purity? sorry, virgin humor).  But the truth is:

Everything in life, including the functions of your mind, is just physical.

Your ability to read and comprehend what I am writing is entirely due to physical interactions amongst your neurons, the cells of your brain.  Any emotional response to it (annoyance? aggravation? a piqued interest perhaps?) is a manifestation of physical processes occurring in your brain.  Everything we feel and think is produced by physical means.  Its all "just" physical.  Why does holding hands during a scary move comfort us?  The physical action of holding hands physically decreases the production of the stress hormone, cortisol, and makes us feel better.  Why do we get that endearing, "aaaaaaw" feeling when holding a baby? Physical increase in the hormone oxytocin produced by holding that little bundle of joy.  It's all physical.

Not only are our feelings dictated by physical processes in our brain but we communicate our feelings entirely through physical means.

Someone we love has a birthday, we communicate our affection by writing a birthday card, buying a gift, giving these tokens to them. Gift giving, an entirely physical act done in the effort to communicate a particular meaning: I love you and I am glad you were born on this day and I celebrate with you.

A friend has a death in the family.  We show our support by physically going to the memorial service, physically embracing our friend, physically speaking words of consolation.

Riddle me this.  If you are sitting in a movie theater watching The Conjuring by yourself and start to feel stressed out, do you grab on to the hand of the strange, burly man you have never met who is sitting next to you? Most would say no, right?  Might be awkward, especially if the guy brought his girlfriend.  Better bring your own significant other to get you through the horror.

Let me try another scenario.

You are sitting in a waiting room at the ICU, the doctor comes in and gives you the news that your mother didn't make it through the surgery, we're sorry, she's dead.  Do you turn and grab on to the woman managing the coffee/tea cart for support?  No.  How about the next week at work, do you go to your boss (who you are well acquainted with but do not consider a friend) and do you throw your arms around their neck and have a good long cry on their shoulder? No. You go to an actual friend and let yourself break down in their arms.

Two examples of scenarios with physical actions that require people who have a specific relationship to us.

So if we wouldn't utilize a stranger in either of these situations, why do many people in our society hook up with strangers they meet in a bar and perform the most intimate physical act possible before even knowing them a full day?

If we don't hold hands with a stranger or seek comfort in the arms of a stranger, so why would we have sex with a stranger?  If actions which are physically less intimate have specific meanings, shouldn't sex have some specific meaning?  The most intimate physical act possible?

What is (or should be) the most intimate (mentally, emotionally, spiritually) relationship we have on earth?  Your spouse right?  When you find the person you want to share all the struggles of life with and maybe have a family (or at least a dog or something) with and want to grow old with, I think we can all agree, that is (or at least should be) the most intimate relationship in your life in all ways- mental, emotional, spiritual...physical?

So, you hug your friends. You hug your family and kiss certain relatives on the cheek or the forehead (or blow rasperries on the bellies of your niece or nephew) etc - you get the idea. In junior high you hold hands with your boyfriend or girlfriend, start kissing maybe.  In high school you make out with them, maybe have sex (47.4% of you according to the CDC).  In college, you're more likely than not having sex with your boyfriend(s) and/or girlfriends(s)- 86.1% of you.  Then, as a young adult (25 years old and older), not only are more of you having sex (97.8% according to the CDC) but you are now cohabitating and sharing all the little intimacies of living together.  You're eating breakfast together every morning. You're brushing your teeth together. You're doing each others laundry. You are waking up together on Christmas morning. You're accidentally getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant (69.7% of sexually active young adults age 25 and older report getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant without the intention of having a child).

Then you get married! And you and your husband/wife share....? What exactly?  What physical intimacy is reserved for your most intimate relationship? You physically put a ring on it, make it legal, and share a bank account.  Wow, how romantic.  Honestly, when it comes to "the love of my life" I'd rather share the most intimate physical intimacy possible with him rather than have a piece of jewelry, a piece of paper, and access to his money.  I'd rather have all the beautiful little intimacies of living with someone more so than having him make "an honest woman of me".  So what exactly are you giving of yourself when you get married when you've already shared everything you can physically share with someone else?  Many of you have shared it with six or more partners (44% of women and 58.8% of men).  So what physical intimacy do you share with only your wife or husband?  Simply the fact that you mean it more when you physically feel and say "I love you" than you did with the others you had before?

Lets say you cheat on your husband or wife.  It happens (20% of married men under the age of 35 and 15% of married women under the age of 35 admit to cheating on their spouse).   Whats the most often heard argument?  "It meant nothing!  It was just physical. I want to only be with you. I love YOU".  So.  Should it really be considered that physically speaking the words "I love you" and sharing a bank account with someone means more than performing the most intimate physical act possible which also brings new souls into the world (makes babies)?

Does that sound logical to you?

Ok so sex is physical- but why in the world would that also correlate to it not meaning anything?

Does it really make sense that the most intimate act you are capable of- the process by which new souls come into the world- doesn't really mean anything and shouldn't be shared with JUST your soulmate?

I'ld like to sit down with Spock and ask him how logical that seems.

*Those of you who don't ever want to get married or don't believe in monogamy or don't believe in true love or maybe don't believe in love at all, bear with me and I'll have blogs for you later.

All my statistics (with the exception of the rate of adultery) came from following report published by the CDC- I acknowledge it was done in 1997 but it is the most comprehensive study available and they are currently conducting the surveys for a new edition.  It will be interesting to see the results in comparison.  I would put money on it showing an increase in sexually promiscuous behaviors since 1997.
http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00049859.htm


My statistic for adultery came from a report published in the New York Times
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/28/health/28well.html?_r=0

Welcome to the Rebellion

My name is Nicole. I am a twenty-four year old virgin and this blog details my rebellion against the "sexual revolution" and the devaluation (its a word) of sex in today's society.  Stay tuned.