So, my boyfriend and I were discussing a random piece of canon law about the blessing on a church building (not relevant) and it got me thinking about the Catholic Catechism. I am not Catholic. I got most of my formal church education as a Southern Baptist (I know-don't stereotype me), but I consider myself very non-denominational now and I adore truth from wherever it comes. If it is Biblical and heavenly, I don't care what denominations it comes from. The Catholic Catechism is beautiful. Parts of it are born more from church tradition than scriptures and those bits I am leery of, but what springs forth from scripture…so beautiful. Protestants, I have to tell you…in many, many areas; I see a lot more passion from Catholics than from my fellow Protestants. And the portion of the Catechism which addresses sex…. thrilling. It is definitely part of what I consider my own "Kama Sutra".
What society in general thinks is "sexy" is of no interest to me. None. At. All. That is what made "saving myself" for one man so…well…easy. Don't get me wrong, it has been a lot of work and a lot of stress…trying to maintain these kinds of morals but wanting to be "normal" and "date" and then having to say "no" over and over and defend my choices etc….all of that was unpleasant and hard. But actually waiting, the motivation for that, was so easy. Once I had my heart fixed on it's deepest desires and the awe-inspiring truth of what intimacy is supposed to be…I simply was not tempted by the kind of sex that pop culture is so good at selling.
It wasn't always like that. My primary sex education was early exposure to pornography (as I have already discussed in my blog) and my puberty was spent embroiled in perversion…I was really, really good at lust. Basically, I had a very "typical" sexuality. Typical of the world today. I am SO grateful that the guys I thought I "liked" or was "in love" with during high school didn't reciprocate my feelings because my story would be very different if I started dating before I had mastered myself…
While I did quit using porn for good by the time I was 12 years old (I first stumbled upon porn at age 9-progressive, I know), I wasn't anywhere near holy yet. I just took all that lust I had awakened, and I transferred it to heart-throb movie actors, boy bands, and "real-life" boys in my social circle. It took years of studying scripture and seeking out purity/chastity commentaries to meditate on before I really felt free from lust, before I was no longer tempted by this broken world's cheap and dirty sexuality. Of course, I continue to make mistakes and I continue to be a sinner, but I simply don't want "sex" the way the world tells me I am supposed to. I want a totally different kind of sex. I don't feel the slightest bit tempted to read 50 Shades of Grey. The bodies of "hot" men at the beach don't even catch my attention. I wouldn't let Chris Hemsworth or Channing Tatum touch me with a ten foot pole. When the trailer for Magic Mike XXL comes on while I am watching television, it makes me gag. There isn't the slightest whisper of sexual-excitement aroused in me at the sight of those scantily-clad, chiseled, gyrating male bodies. It does nothing for me. It's so cheap and nasty. It's just gross.
Let me assure you, my libido is just fine. It is just that now, I have an entirely different idea of what is "sexy". I have my own "Kama Sutra", if you will, my own canon of sex. It is made up primarily of Bible verses with the foundation being:
"Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So that they are no longer two but one (echad). What God has joined together, let no man put asunder."
and there are many, many other Bible verses about sex that I adore.
So, my Kama Sutra is made up of Bible verses, books I have read on chastity/purity like The Bride Wore White by Dannah Gresh, quotes from people like C. S. Lewis, sermons and messages from pastors or speakers such as Jason Evert, a tremendous amount of scientific research on the biological bonding of sex…and the Catholic Catechism. That's right. The Catholic Catechism is HOT. It is sexy. For your pleasure, I have copied my favorite passages from Part III Section II Chapter II Article VI. I have highlighted the selections I find most arousing.
…
2337 Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being.
Sexuality, in which man's belonging to the bodily and biological world is expressed, becomes personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman.
The virtue of chastity therefore involves the integrity of the person and the integrality of the gift.
The integrity of the person
2338 The chaste person maintains the integrity of the powers of life and love placed in him. This integrity ensures the unity of the person; it is opposed to any behavior that would impair it. It tolerates neither a double life nor duplicity in speech.125
2339 Chastity includes an
apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy.
126 "
Man's dignity therefore requires him to act out of conscious and free choice, as moved and drawn in a personal way from within, and not by blind impulses in himself or by mere external constraint. Man gains such dignity when, ridding himself of all slavery to the passions, he presses forward to his goal by freely choosing what is good and, by his diligence and skill, effectively secures for himself the means suited to this end."
127
2340 Whoever wants to remain faithful to his baptismal promises and resist temptations will want to adopt the means for doing so: self-knowledge, practice of an ascesis adapted to the situations that confront him, obedience to God's commandments, exercise of the moral virtues, and fidelity to prayer.
"Indeed it is through chastity that we are gathered together and led back to the unity from which we were fragmented into multiplicity."128
2341 The virtue of chastity comes under the cardinal virtue of
temperance, which seeks to permeate the passions and appetites of the senses with reason.
2342 Self-mastery is a long and exacting work. One can never consider it acquired once and for all. It presupposes renewed effort at all stages of life.129 The effort required can be more intense in certain periods, such as when the personality is being formed during childhood and adolescence.
2343 Chastity has
laws of growth which progress through stages marked by imperfection and too often by sin. "Man . . . day by day builds himself up through his many free decisions; and so he knows, loves, and accomplishes moral good by stages of growth."
130
2344 Chastity represents an eminently personal task; it also involves a
cultural effort, for there is "an interdependence between personal betterment and the improvement of society."
131 Chastity presupposes respect for the rights of the person, in particular the right to receive information and an education that respect the moral and spiritual dimensions of human life.
2345 Chastity is a moral virtue. It is also a gift from God, a grace, a fruit of spiritual effort.132 The Holy Spirit enables one whom the water of Baptism has regenerated to imitate the purity of Christ.
133
The integrality of the gift of self
2346 Charity is the
form of all the virtues. Under its influence, chastity appears as a school of the gift of the person.
Self-mastery is ordered to the gift of self. Chastity leads him who practices it to become a witness to his neighbor of God's fidelity and loving kindness.
2347 The virtue of chastity blossoms in
friendship. It shows the disciple how to follow and imitate him who has chosen us as his friends,
134 who has given himself totally to us and allows us to participate in his divine estate.
Chastity is a promise of immortality.
Chastity is expressed notably in friendship with one's neighbor. Whether it develops between persons of the same or opposite sex, friendship represents a great good for all. It leads to spiritual communion.
The various forms of chastity
2348 All the baptized are called to chastity. The Christian has "put on Christ,"135 the model for all chastity. All Christ's faithful are called to lead a chaste life in keeping with their particular states of life. At the moment of his Baptism, the Christian is pledged to lead his affective life in chastity.
2349 "People should cultivate [chastity] in the way that is suited to their state of life. Some profess virginity or consecrated celibacy which enables them to give themselves to God alone with an undivided heart in a remarkable manner. Others live in the way prescribed for all by the moral law, whether they are married or single."
136 Married people are called to live conjugal chastity; others practice chastity in continence: There are three forms of the virtue of chastity: the first is that of spouses, the second that of widows, and the third that of virgins. We do not praise any one of them to the exclusion of the others. . . . This is what makes for the richness of the discipline of the Church.
137
Tobias got out of bed and said to Sarah, "Sister, get up, and let us pray and implore our Lord that he grant us mercy and safety." So she got up, and they began to pray and implore that they might be kept safe. Tobias began by saying, "Blessed are you, O God of our fathers. . . . You made Adam, and for him you made his wife Eve as a helper and support. From the two of them the race of mankind has sprung. You said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; let us make a helper for him like himself.' I now am taking this kinswoman of mine, not because of lust, but with a pure heart. Grant that she and I may find mercy and that we may grow old together." And they both said, "Amen, Amen." Then they went to sleep for the night.144
The Creator himself . . . established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.146
St. John Chrysostom suggests that young husbands should say to their wives: I have taken you in my arms, and I love you, and I prefer you to my life itself. For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us. . . . I place your love above all things, and nothing would be more bitter or painful to me than to be of a different mind than you.150
2350 Those who are
engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence.
They should see in this time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the hope of receiving one another from God. They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love. They will help each other grow in chastity.
2360 Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman.
In marriage the physical intimacy of the spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion. Marriage bonds between baptized persons are sanctified by the sacrament.
2361 "Sexuality, by means of which man and woman give themselves to one another through the acts which are proper and exclusive to spouses, is not something simply biological, but concerns the innermost being of the human person as such. It is realized in a truly human way only if it is an integral part of the love by which a man and woman commit themselves totally to one another until death."143
2362 "
The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude."
145 Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure:
2363 The spouses' union achieves the twofold end of marriage: the good of the spouses themselves and the transmission of life. These two meanings or values of marriage cannot be separated without altering the couple's spiritual life and compromising the goods of marriage and the future of the family.
The conjugal love of man and woman thus stands under the twofold obligation of fidelity and fecundity.
2364 The married couple forms "the intimate partnership of life and love established by the Creator and governed by his laws; it is rooted in the conjugal covenant, that is, in their irrevocable personal consent."147 Both give themselves definitively and totally to one another. They are no longer two; from now on they form one flesh. The covenant they freely contracted imposes on the spouses the obligation to preserve it as unique and indissoluble.148 "What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder."
149
2365 Fidelity expresses constancy in keeping one's given word. God is faithful. The Sacrament of Matrimony enables man and woman to enter into Christ's fidelity for his Church. Through conjugal chastity, they bear witness to this mystery before the world.
Found on the official Vatican website:
