I'm about to argue this point with nothing but logic. I'm not even going to pull on morality or my Christian faith (saving the big guns for later). But right now, just logic.
First, a definition of the word physical from Google:
Physical
adjective
- 1.of or relating to the body as opposed to the mind.
- 2.of or relating to things perceived through the senses as opposed to the mind; tangible or concrete.
To play the devil's advocate I will say, yes, sex is a purely physical act (no pun intended...get it? purity? sorry, virgin humor). But the truth is:
Everything in life, including the functions of your mind, is just physical.
Your ability to read and comprehend what I am writing is entirely due to physical interactions amongst your neurons, the cells of your brain. Any emotional response to it (annoyance? aggravation? a piqued interest perhaps?) is a manifestation of physical processes occurring in your brain. Everything we feel and think is produced by physical means. Its all "just" physical. Why does holding hands during a scary move comfort us? The physical action of holding hands physically decreases the production of the stress hormone, cortisol, and makes us feel better. Why do we get that endearing, "aaaaaaw" feeling when holding a baby? Physical increase in the hormone oxytocin produced by holding that little bundle of joy. It's all physical.
Not only are our feelings dictated by physical processes in our brain but we communicate our feelings entirely through physical means.
Someone we love has a birthday, we communicate our affection by writing a birthday card, buying a gift, giving these tokens to them. Gift giving, an entirely physical act done in the effort to communicate a particular meaning: I love you and I am glad you were born on this day and I celebrate with you.
A friend has a death in the family. We show our support by physically going to the memorial service, physically embracing our friend, physically speaking words of consolation.
Riddle me this. If you are sitting in a movie theater watching The Conjuring by yourself and start to feel stressed out, do you grab on to the hand of the strange, burly man you have never met who is sitting next to you? Most would say no, right? Might be awkward, especially if the guy brought his girlfriend. Better bring your own significant other to get you through the horror.
Let me try another scenario.
You are sitting in a waiting room at the ICU, the doctor comes in and gives you the news that your mother didn't make it through the surgery, we're sorry, she's dead. Do you turn and grab on to the woman managing the coffee/tea cart for support? No. How about the next week at work, do you go to your boss (who you are well acquainted with but do not consider a friend) and do you throw your arms around their neck and have a good long cry on their shoulder? No. You go to an actual friend and let yourself break down in their arms.
Two examples of scenarios with physical actions that require people who have a specific relationship to us.
So if we wouldn't utilize a stranger in either of these situations, why do many people in our society hook up with strangers they meet in a bar and perform the most intimate physical act possible before even knowing them a full day?
If we don't hold hands with a stranger or seek comfort in the arms of a stranger, so why would we have sex with a stranger? If actions which are physically less intimate have specific meanings, shouldn't sex have some specific meaning? The most intimate physical act possible?
What is (or should be) the most intimate (mentally, emotionally, spiritually) relationship we have on earth? Your spouse right? When you find the person you want to share all the struggles of life with and maybe have a family (or at least a dog or something) with and want to grow old with, I think we can all agree, that is (or at least should be) the most intimate relationship in your life in all ways- mental, emotional, spiritual...physical?
So, you hug your friends. You hug your family and kiss certain relatives on the cheek or the forehead (or blow rasperries on the bellies of your niece or nephew) etc - you get the idea. In junior high you hold hands with your boyfriend or girlfriend, start kissing maybe. In high school you make out with them, maybe have sex (47.4% of you according to the CDC). In college, you're more likely than not having sex with your boyfriend(s) and/or girlfriends(s)- 86.1% of you. Then, as a young adult (25 years old and older), not only are more of you having sex (97.8% according to the CDC) but you are now cohabitating and sharing all the little intimacies of living together. You're eating breakfast together every morning. You're brushing your teeth together. You're doing each others laundry. You are waking up together on Christmas morning. You're accidentally getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant (69.7% of sexually active young adults age 25 and older report getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant without the intention of having a child).
Then you get married! And you and your husband/wife share....? What exactly? What physical intimacy is reserved for your most intimate relationship? You physically put a ring on it, make it legal, and share a bank account. Wow, how romantic. Honestly, when it comes to "the love of my life" I'd rather share the most intimate physical intimacy possible with him rather than have a piece of jewelry, a piece of paper, and access to his money. I'd rather have all the beautiful little intimacies of living with someone more so than having him make "an honest woman of me". So what exactly are you giving of yourself when you get married when you've already shared everything you can physically share with someone else? Many of you have shared it with six or more partners (44% of women and 58.8% of men). So what physical intimacy do you share with only your wife or husband? Simply the fact that you mean it more when you physically feel and say "I love you" than you did with the others you had before?
Lets say you cheat on your husband or wife. It happens (20% of married men under the age of 35 and 15% of married women under the age of 35 admit to cheating on their spouse). Whats the most often heard argument? "It meant nothing! It was just physical. I want to only be with you. I love YOU". So. Should it really be considered that physically speaking the words "I love you" and sharing a bank account with someone means more than performing the most intimate physical act possible which also brings new souls into the world (makes babies)?
Does that sound logical to you?
Ok so sex is physical- but why in the world would that also correlate to it not meaning anything?
Does it really make sense that the most intimate act you are capable of- the process by which new souls come into the world- doesn't really mean anything and shouldn't be shared with JUST your soulmate?
I'ld like to sit down with Spock and ask him how logical that seems.
*Those of you who don't ever want to get married or don't believe in monogamy or don't believe in true love or maybe don't believe in love at all, bear with me and I'll have blogs for you later.
All my statistics (with the exception of the rate of adultery) came from following report published by the CDC- I acknowledge it was done in 1997 but it is the most comprehensive study available and they are currently conducting the surveys for a new edition. It will be interesting to see the results in comparison. I would put money on it showing an increase in sexually promiscuous behaviors since 1997.
http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00049859.htm
My statistic for adultery came from a report published in the New York Times
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/28/health/28well.html?_r=0
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