Oh, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, you're killing me

If thou must love me... (Sonnet 14)

If thou must love me, let it be for nought   
Except for love’s sake only. Do not say,   
“I love her for her smile—her look—her way   
Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought   
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought 
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day”—   
For these things in themselves, Belovèd, may   
Be changed, or change for thee—and love, so wrought,   
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for   
Thine own dear pity’s wiping my cheeks dry: 
A creature might forget to weep, who bore   
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!   
But love me for love’s sake, that evermore   
Thou mayst love on, through love’s eternity.

If you don't know the love story of Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning, Google it.

Image found here.

There was a Dream

and one day I could see it.

Link to video for mobile users here.

Link to original image source here.

This post is dedicated to this amazing girl, Kate. 

Keep being amazing and remember:

"God-glorifying Real Intimacy"

I am currently reading Undefiled: Redemption from Sexual Sin, Restoration for Broken Relationships by Harry Schaumburg.  It is much less depressing than The Chemistry Between Us and The Normal Bar (although the exact same scientific research is presented in all three books). Here is my favorite passage so far- the italics are the authors, but I added the bold to the parts that induced an Herbal-Essence-commercial-type response in me:

"That said, please understand that God-glorifying real intimacy is the God-ordained path to healing and purity. God's gift of sex is designed for comfort, intimacy, pleasure, procreation, and control of sexual temptation.

It is tragic and shallow if an engaged couple coming into their wedding night just see sexual intimacy as now permissible. Something is lost if passionate lovemaking is not seen and realized as part of God's created order. More tragic is the spouse who feels sex must now be tolerated rather than knowing that God is encouraging the couple to enjoy lovemaking completely.

A man and a woman looking for a spouse had a huge pool of potential mates but ended up choosing each other. In reality, God put them together. Being in bed for love creates a new exclusive bond for life. That bond is all the more rich when you know that God is present and seeing the goodness of your erotic satisfaction. This union is to continue until death separates the couple or age and health become an issue. 

God-glorifying lovemaking is to be expected and celebrated. It is exciting, pleasurable, intoxicating, powerful, and unifying at the deepest spiritual level. Sexual intimacy may be briefly put aside for prayer, but prayer and Bible study are not more important than holy, sexual intimacy. 

Foreplay begins before a kiss, a hug, a touch, or a caress. Meaningful physical foreplay and lovemaking must be preceded by touching each other's hearts and minds…

When touched inwardly, we are built to respond physically. Kissing is to be more than a casual greeting, but passionate. Touching and caressing are varied and will not be limited to the bedroom, and are always appropriate but should never make the other person uncomfortable. It should never just be a prelude to sexual intimacy but an expression of meaningful commitment, affection, and love that fills the mind with satisfaction and gives reassurance that you belong to each other fully and completely. 

Sexual intercourse is the ultimate physical union in this lovemaking setting, the expression of godly sensual joy to the point of giving and receiving with abandonment in the harmony of the moment as man and woman serve one another in vulnerable passion…

In later years, I would come to appreciate more and more that she (the author's wife) is the gift of God, a sovereign God who knew the "us" before we were born, before our first kiss, and before our wedding night. God had a plan to bring us together before the foundations of the world for His purpose and glory, as well as for our satisfaction."

-pages 164-166, Undefiled: Redemption from Sexual Sin, Restoration for Broken Relationships by Harry Schaumburg

"exclusive bond for life", "unifying at the deepest spiritual level", "love that fills the mind with satisfaction and gives reassurance that you belong to each other fully and completely", "giving and receiving with abandonment in the harmony of the moment as man and woman serve one another in vulnerable passion"…?

Yes, yes, yes.

"vulnerable passion"

Yesssss, give me more.

I could read thousands of pages of that.

Every Christian who is married or hopes to be married someday in the future should own this book.

Picture is of my copy- Buy yours here.

Image found here. 

The Only Thing that Counts.

I really enjoy Zach Braff.  He is famous for his comedy tv series Scrubs, but I think he's a great dramatic actor as well. His performance in Garden State is excellent and that whole movie made a big impact on me. His ability to juggle both comedy and drama so skillfully reminds me of Alan Alda from M*A*S*H (although he could never be as good as Alan Alda). I'm excited to see Zach Braff's new movie, Wish I Was Here, (which is now in theaters - free plug) and my anticipation has led me to re-watch a couple of his older movies.

In 2006, Braff starred in The Last Kiss, which I love in the same sort of way that I love Sam Smith's song "Stay".  Its undeniably painful and heart wrenching. I don't know how anyone could watch it and not think, "I never want that to be like that".  The movie follows a group of men as they face turning 30 without a clue as to who they are, what they want to do with their lives, or how to actually love someone. Braff's character, Micheal, ends up cheating on his pregnant girlfriend with some hot, young college girl. Micheal is (in my opinion) entirely dishonorable and reprehensible. He lies, uses, abuses, and betrays both his girlfriend and the "other woman" just because he is scared his life is going to be "boring" if he has to commit his life to one woman and their unborn child.  He is somehow redeemed by spending two or three days camped out on his girlfriend's porch in order to prove his "love" to her (I'm not buying it).

When exactly did it become a virtue to hurt the people you are supposed to cherish just so you can "find yourself"?

However, in the midst of these inarguably pathetic and very "typical" romantic entanglements, there is a beautiful message:

Link to video for mobile users here.

Image source here.

Image source here.

Second to the Right and Straight on till Morning

Recent gifts from Amazon.com

Thanks go to my mom for getting me the books and encouraging my favorite obsession/ pet peeve.

The first book, The Normal Bar, is about the most extensive survey ever done on romantic relationships.

The second, The Chemistry Between Us, is written by a doctor of neuroscience and talks about oxytocin and vasopressin and infidelity and all my other favorite things.  

Honestly, both are so depressing that I have to read a few pages and then abandon them for Peter Pan.

“Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.” 

~From Peter Pan 

by the most delightful J.M. Barrie