EXCUSE ME?!?!

WHAT?!?!

A sappy, romantic, Nicholas-Sparks-esque movie based on Song of Songs from the Bible???

THIS is going to be AWFUL.  

And I'm probably going to LOVE it.

It will be NOTHING compared to the sacred Song of Songs (the book is always better- am I right? eh?), and I'm sure it will have a solid "B" movie feel, but I won't be able to help myself.

Link to video for mobile users here.

But really.. like… just that people exist, somewhere in the world, who wanted to make this movie..makes me kind of happy…


Spoiler alert: The Song of Songs, which tells the story of King Solomon and his wife, is a cautionary tale, really.  The Song of Songs details Solomon's true and passionate love with his wife:

I have found the one whom my soul loves.

Song of Songs 3:4 (my very favorite)

Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is as strong as death, its jealousy as fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flames of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters can not quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised.

Song of Songs 8:6-7

However, the book ends while they are still newlyweds.  The epilogue of sorts is told in the two books of Kings.  As a lot of people do, Solomon gave himself up to the sins of lust and became an adulterer (and a polygamist).  He had a bunch of wives and concubines, even though God specifically forbade it:

 Thou shall not commit adultery.

Exodus 20:14

and 

The king must not acquire many wives for himself, for they shall turn his heart from the Lord. 

Deuteronomy 17:17  

And that is exactly what happened to Solomon (1 Kings 11).  Not only did Solomon destroy the gift of true love that God gave him (btw you should have read "true love" in the accent of the priest from The Princess Bride), but Solomon also turned away from God for much of his life. Which is kind of a "no duh", domino effect of choosing a life of sexual sin.  It is impossible to follow and serve God while actively, consistently, and constantly choosing to sin without repentance. And there are consequences for unrepentant sin: 

Therefore the Lord said to Solomon, "Since this has been your practice and you have not kept my covenant and my commandments, I will surely tear the kingdom from you."

1 Kings 11:11 

God was true to His word. 

Solomon seemed to return to God in his elder years as is evidenced by the super depressing book of Ecclesiastes, which is just saturated with regret:

I searched everywhere, determined to find wisdom and to understand the reason for things. I was determined to prove to myself that wickedness is stupid and that foolishness is madness, and I discovered this: that a seductive woman is a trap more bitter than death. Her passion is a snare, and her soft hands are chains. Those who are pleasing to God will escape her, but sinners will be caught in her snare.

Ecclesiastes 7:25-26

The moral of the story in Solomon's words are:

Find joy in living with your wife, whom you love, every day of your pointless life that God gave you on earth, because this is your life's purpose and your work to do on earth. 

Ecclesiastes 9:9

Those are the words of a bitter, remorseful old man.

I still adore the Song of Songs because it shows the passion of love as God intended and its still a worthy delusion of grandeur even if Solomon failed…

I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me.

Phillipians 4:13